Getting Over Getting Dumped By A Friend
A teen is hurt when her close friend drops her suddenly with little explanation.
Getting dumped by a friend stings. An explanation of why the friendship ended sometimes helps, yet it’s not always possible to get one.
I have had a best friend for almost seven years, and never imagined that our friendship would end.
We were with each other through thick and thin and I always put a great deal of time into our friendship because it was important to me. We spent holidays and birthdays together and also took many trips with one another. I was the only friend she invited to parties with her family.
About a year ago, she started to avoid hanging out with me. I tried to talk to her about it, but it felt as though she didn’t care.
She planned a trip with another girl a trip that we had talked about going on together. It felt like this other friend had replaced me. She ended up inviting me but it felt like she did it out of pity.
When she recently had an 18h birthday party and invited friends she barely knew, she left me off her list. I finally realized that this was the end of our friendship and that I meant nothing to her.
I’m in a group with her at a class in school for the entirety of the year and simply do not know how to handle the awful hurt I feel from her ignoring me. She basically treats me like I’m “an ant.”
It feels especially awful because my grandfather (who was like my father) recently passed away, and she hasn’t even considered helping me get through it. When her father died, I was at the funeral and was there to support her afterward.
I genuinely couldn’t be more hurt by this, especially because of the timing.
Thank you for any advice. Even if there’s no solution to ease the pain of getting dumped by a friend, being able to communicate through writing helps in a way.
We’re so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandfather. Since he was also a father figure, the loss must be especially hard to get over. At the same time, you’re grieving the loss of a friendship that was an important part of your life.
From everything you say, it sounds like your friend decided to dump you without explanation and then moved on to other friends. You’ve already tried to talk to her, but if you’re up to it, you might make one more attempt to find out what happened.
Ask to speak to her privately. If she agrees, use your best listening skills and give her a chance to talk. However, be prepared that she may not be willing to give you an explanation.
If she doesn’t want to remain friends, there is nothing you can really do. Friendships are voluntary relationships that have to be satisfying to both people. You don’t want to place yourself in the position of begging her to be friends with you.
When you see her at school, act cordially to your once-friend by saying hello while maintaining some distance. At school, your primary responsibility is to yourself and your work.
Try to make other friends in the group at school and also outside of school. It is especially difficult when a friendship ends, and you continue to see the person every day, although this often is the case with friendships made at school or work.
Thanks for writing. We hope it helps heal the hurt somewhat but it will take time to get over this loss.
In friendship, Irene & Sheryl
It’s always painful and difficult getting over getting dumped by a friend. These difficulties are compounded when you have to see the person every day at school or work, or around the neighborhood.
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