10 Signs It’s Time To End A Friendship
Not all friendships last forever, but knowing when to call it quits is never easy.
Chances are many friendships that you thought would last forever have come to an end.
Not only is that okay, but it’s predictable. Friendships are fluid and dynamic; they change over time over the course of different phases of our lives.
The friends we have in elementary school, for example, don’t always follow us clear through to adulthood. (Surely, there are examples of ones that do, but they’re the exception rather than the rule.)
College friends, work friends, mothers of your children’s friends, former and co-workers are good examples. These friendships often get frayed when your shared circumstances change.
Most friendships die a “natural” and painless death, without malice or clear intent as two people slowly drift apart.
But then there are times when ending a friendship calls for a conscious (and usually uncomfortable) decision: those that are no longer bringing you joy or contentment.
You wonder if—and when—it’s time to break the ties that bind.
Rather than lifting you up, a friendship brings you down. Your friend is someone with whom you no longer look forward to spending time.
As we all know, time becomes so much more valuable as we age, and spending time with friends out of a sense of obligation and nothing more is often a downer, associated with aggravation and stress.
Reasons To Consider Ending A Friendship
If you’re wondering if it’s time to end a friendship, take a look below. Hopefully, you’ll feel empowered and energized to analyze why you’re still friends. If you have tried to repair the relationship without success, it may be time to think about ending it.
Here are some signs to watch out for:
Your friend constantly puts you down. It may be out of jealousy, envy, or having a different set of beliefs. But there’s no reason for remaining friends with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself, rather than good.
They gossip. We all like to gossip a bit here and there. But if your friend is constantly telling you about other people’s business, it’s a good bet they’re also telling other people about yours.
Your friend is uninterested or disinterested in your life. A friend who always talks about herself and her life without taking an interest or having any curiosity about yours can be frustrating and exhausting to be with.
She is closed off and uncommunicative. Friends should be able to share, talk things out, and go deep.
The friendship is unbalanced. One-sided friendships tend to be draining. We are all needy from time to time and depend on our friends for support. But if a friend is always in crisis mode, asking for favors, shows no interest in you, and isn’t there to reciprocate when you need her, the friendship has to feel frustrating.
Your friend is flaky. We need to be able to depend on our friends. If someone is always changing plans and canceling, it shows a lack of respect for your time and friendship.
Your friend is super-competitive. She always tries to one-up you, even in front of mutual friends or colleagues.
Disagreements between you are becoming more frequent. There’s always conflict or friction that never gets resolved.
There’s been a breach of trust that you can’t overcome. Perhaps she made a play for your boyfriend or husband, stole money from you, or always criticizes your parenting in front of other friends or at work in front of your supervisor.
Sometimes, we aren’t even aware that it’s time for a friendship to come to an end. The signs may be visceral. Whenever you get together, you feel headachy or queasy and can’t wait to leave.
Friendships should enhance our lives. If they are unsatisfying, opening yourself up to more rewarding relationships is prudent.