Vacation Friends Or A False Start?

When you make friends on vacation, do they always end up as friends afterwards?

Vacations can act as a social lubricant for making friends

Pixabay

Question

My husband and I met some nice people in our tour group in southeast Asia earlier this year. We connected on FB afterward and thought we were good. 

Well, six months later, I saw pictures posted on Facebook when they were visiting our area, but they did not message or contact my husband or me.

I guess I overestimated this as a friendship; I thought we had become casual friends, but clearly, this tells me they are not interested in having a friendship with us. 

I get that we met on vacation six months ago, but I thought they would of at least reached out. I am disappointed and don’t see this going any further and decided I am going to leave this alone. I am starting to question myself on discerning who is a friend versus someone just being friendly.

Thanks,
Confused Jane

Sheryl says: 

Vacations are wonderful, and sometimes even more so when we’re lucky enough to make new connections with people we really enjoy. Vacations quite often lend themselves naturally to friendships. Why? we’re relaxed, happy, feeling good, and generally open to new experiences, including meeting new people.

And sharing many fun, new experiences and interests with other people can create a quick and strong bond.

When you leave, you vow to see one another again or even go on another vacation together.

I can understand how it was jolting and upsetting to see that these friends were right in your area and never got in touch. But please be careful not to take this personally or let it ruin the wonderful memories of your trip. 

It’s entirely possible the other couple may have been pressed for time, or had other obligations. There are so many reasons for them not contacting you, many of which are not personal.

And also, remember this: Once people return from a trip and back to reality, life can easily take over. Memories fade…and people suddenly realize they either don’t have time to devote to new friends, or the distance makes it too difficult to stay in touch. 

My husband and I have made some very good friends on vacation, but we’ve actually only stayed in touch with a handful, sadly. All of us promised we’d stay in touch, but more times than none, for so many reasons, the promises went unfulfilled.

If this couple is really special to you, I’d try to get over my feelings of doubt and rejection, and reach out again. Everyone deserves another chance; you never know what got in the way.

Irene says:

Being at the same place—at the same time—while sharing the same experiences—acts like a social lubricant, making it easier to make new friends. Removed from the pressures of everyday life, travelers often feel more relaxed, and more receptive to new people and new experiences.

However, it’s common for the friendships made while traveling to fray when people return to their respective orbits. 

While I understand your disappointment, this couple simply may not have had the time to add another stop to their itinerary while visiting your area. 

It always takes two parties to nurture a friendship. If you really enjoyed being with this couple, don’t take the Facebook post as an insult. Instead, reach out to them and reconnect. 

If they don’t respond, it doesn’t mean that the friendship wasn’t sincere during the time you were together. It’s just that the circumstances of your lives and/or theirs changed.

Friendship Rule

Friendships made during vacations can be easy and sincere, yet many of them evaporate just as easily after travelers return home.