Enjoyed this post and admire Becca for writing about what seems like a scenario many face when jobs/life stage/circumstances change. There is no shame in not having enough friends and it takes time, effort and perseverance.
Becca is absolutely not alone! After a peripatetic career in a field that was 90% male, my friends and colleagues are scattered around the country. And guess what? Most of these guys are not interested in sustaining a friendship after retirement. This is probably my greatest disappointment, and also my greatest personal failure -- in that I did not realize I wasn't cultivating true friendships to sustain me in my later years. Now, after retiring during the pandemic and moving to a new city, I find myself without friends. I am disappointed in my former colleagues -- and in myself, for not knowing!
Great post, very thoughtful. I know quite a few people who feel they don't have many (or any) real friendships. In my view, it's partly because they have demanding careers and no time for a social life after work. Or, a few are under the false impression that they do have a social life because they have "friends" on social media. While social media friends can be supportive, I don't see them meeting offline for coffee or scheduling other real social activities together. You can have a few hundred friends and a lot of "likes" on Facebook -- but be terribly lonely.
Enjoyed this post and admire Becca for writing about what seems like a scenario many face when jobs/life stage/circumstances change. There is no shame in not having enough friends and it takes time, effort and perseverance.
Thanks for your comment. Most people need to find more friends at some point in their lives.
Becca is absolutely not alone! After a peripatetic career in a field that was 90% male, my friends and colleagues are scattered around the country. And guess what? Most of these guys are not interested in sustaining a friendship after retirement. This is probably my greatest disappointment, and also my greatest personal failure -- in that I did not realize I wasn't cultivating true friendships to sustain me in my later years. Now, after retiring during the pandemic and moving to a new city, I find myself without friends. I am disappointed in my former colleagues -- and in myself, for not knowing!
Hi Bette,
You are not alone either. Just remember it's never too late to make new friends closer to home. Best, Irene
Great post, very thoughtful. I know quite a few people who feel they don't have many (or any) real friendships. In my view, it's partly because they have demanding careers and no time for a social life after work. Or, a few are under the false impression that they do have a social life because they have "friends" on social media. While social media friends can be supportive, I don't see them meeting offline for coffee or scheduling other real social activities together. You can have a few hundred friends and a lot of "likes" on Facebook -- but be terribly lonely.
Totally agree, there is nothing like spending real "face time" with friends.