Feeling embarrassed at having no friends creates a barrier to making them.
Enjoyed this post and admire Becca for writing about what seems like a scenario many face when jobs/life stage/circumstances change. There is no shame in not having enough friends and it takes time, effort and perseverance.
Becca is absolutely not alone! After a peripatetic career in a field that was 90% male, my friends and colleagues are scattered around the country. And guess what? Most of these guys are not interested in sustaining a friendship after retirement. This is probably my greatest disappointment, and also my greatest personal failure -- in that I did not realize I wasn't cultivating true friendships to sustain me in my later years. Now, after retiring during the pandemic and moving to a new city, I find myself without friends. I am disappointed in my former colleagues -- and in myself, for not knowing!
Great post, very thoughtful. I know quite a few people who feel they don't have many (or any) real friendships. In my view, it's partly because they have demanding careers and no time for a social life after work. Or, a few are under the false impression that they do have a social life because they have "friends" on social media. While social media friends can be supportive, I don't see them meeting offline for coffee or scheduling other real social activities together. You can have a few hundred friends and a lot of "likes" on Facebook -- but be terribly lonely.